Tonto Dikeh advises Christian men to put in real effort in relationships

Nollywood actress and evangelist Tonto Dikeh has advised Christian men to stop using spirituality as an excuse for not making real efforts when trying to marry women.

The 41-year-old actress shared her thoughts in a video on her Instagram. She talked about what she sees as a “low-effort” way some church men approach relationships.

Tonto Dikeh, known for her bold nature and social media controversies, has become more focused on her Christian faith. She now often gives relationship advice based on her beliefs.

In her video, she explained that many men hide behind phrases like “God told me you are my wife” instead of putting in the time and effort needed to build strong relationships.

“This is a very funny topic, but it is one that we actually need to discuss. So, if you are a brother in the Lord, come forward; this is for you,” she said with a laugh.

She asked why some Christian men think that women in church do not deserve nice gestures during courtship.

“Why do church brothers think church sisters don’t require gifts? What about this low-effort thing you put into wooing or pursuing a woman? Church brothers would say, ‘God sent me to you,’ and blah, blah.

“God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God’s character. Saying, ‘God told me you are my wife’ is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort.”

To back up her point, Tonto mentioned several Bible verses. She argued that the Bible encourages active and responsible courtship instead of waiting passively on prophecies.

Referring to Proverbs 18:22, she said that finding a wife requires action.

“True pursuit requires investment. The passive ‘God will see us through’ mindset contradicts the Scriptures. Proverbs says, ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing.’ Finding requires active, intentional effort.”

She also talked about Genesis 24, pointing out that Abraham’s servant came with gifts when looking for a wife for Isaac.

“He didn’t just show up with a prophecy. He came with camels loaded with gold, silver and precious gifts. I didn’t write the Bible.”

Tonto provided another example from Boaz and Ruth. She said true love shows through protection, provision and responsibility, not just spiritual claims.

“When Boaz wanted to marry Ruth, he didn’t corner her with a vision. He protected her, provided for her, spoke kindly to her and legally stepped into his responsibilities.”

According to her, divine confirmation should promote responsible behavior instead of being “an excuse to skip communication and respect.”

She also cited the Song of Solomon, saying it shows that love, romance and real affection align with Christian values.

“A woman of God deserves to be cherished, respected and treated with excellence. Spiritual maturity should elevate your standards, not lower them.”

She wrapped up by urging Christian men to stop taking shortcuts in relationships.

“Step up. Plan that date. Don’t keep saying, ‘God said,’ because God speaks to women too.”