Nnamdi Oboli Talks Marriage and Life with Omoni

Nnamdi Oboli, an optometrist, marriage coach, content creator and husband of Nollywood actress Omoni Oboli, shares about his life and career with Naomi Chima.

What was your upbringing like, and how did it shape you?
I was a quiet child. I did well in school and did not give my parents much trouble. I was observant, and growing up was enjoyable because my home was always filled with happiness. There was always laughter, music, and a strong bond among my siblings.

My father worked as a banker, so we moved around Nigeria whenever he got transferred. I was born in Lagos and spoke Yoruba at first. But when we moved to the East, I gradually lost the language. I completed my primary and secondary education in Enugu State before studying optometry at the University of Benin.

I practised optometry for about 20 years before relocating to Canada. My upbringing, education, and the various places I lived all shaped who I am today.

You spent about two decades practising optometry. What made you leave that career and move into marriage coaching and content creation?
Marriage was a big change for me. When I got married, I noticed that many people had wrong ideas about what marriage should be. I saw people struggle because of those ideas. At that time, I was also becoming a new Christian, so I started to learn more about marriage from both human and biblical angles.

I focused on understanding what it means to be a husband. I was not asking, “What should my wife do?” Instead, I was asking, “How should I behave towards my wife?”

I began to read Proverbs in the Bible regularly to learn about wisdom and what it means to be a husband. I realised that if marriage is from God, I needed to go back to Him to grasp its purpose.

As I talked to different couples, I noticed many recurring issues. Some were new, but many were just old problems showing up in new ways because society was changing.

When we lived in England for about three years and later moved to Canada, I saw that the problem was even bigger for Nigerians abroad. When people leave Nigeria for another place, marriage can change completely.

I began to understand that there was a deep-rooted issue. Some things people thought were normal in our culture were actually not healthy, and those issues became clearer when people moved abroad.

That was when I knew this was bigger than what I could handle casually. I needed to commit myself to helping people understand marriage better.

Why did you choose a Biblical approach to marriage counselling?
I listened to many marriage coaches. Some were good, while others were far from what I believed was the biblical view.

I chose to stick with the biblical approach because I did not want to base my teaching only on my personal experiences or opinions. My marriage is not the final definition of what marriage should be. There must be something greater than my own experience. I believe the key question is not, “What has worked for me?” but, “What is true?”

Did living abroad change your perspective on relationships and marriage?
I would not say living abroad changed my perspective. Reading the Bible and understanding people from a Christian viewpoint did that.

People are basically the same. Culture might change how we express some things, but at the core, we are still human.

When you go to another country, you should take the good parts of your culture and learn from the good parts of the new culture. That mix can bring about something positive.

When did you realise people were paying attention to your message?
It actually began with my book, ‘My Life For Better For Us.’

After writing the book, I travelled outside the country. I got invited to a program where I spoke about it. A clip from the interview went viral and got over two million views on the host’s page. That made me realise people were interested in my thoughts on marriage.

What is the hardest part of being a content creator?
Consistency. You wake up, think about what to say, set up the camera, record and edit to ensure your message is spot on. It can be tiring.

For me, I also have to be careful not to present my personal opinions as universal truths. My experiences do not define what is true. If I have a bad habit, I cannot excuse it simply because I have lived with it and then teach it to someone else.

Whatever I say about marriage, I am also working on those things in my own marriage. I do not present myself as a perfect husband.

I also take responsibility for what I teach because people may act on it. I do not want to make videos and later delete them because I said something I cannot defend. I like to think deeply, make the video once and stand by it.

How do you deal with criticism?
Sometimes, I discuss women and get criticism from women. When I talk about men, I get criticism from men.

I do not respond to every comment because there are too many, but I see many of them.

It is easy to get defensive, but that is not my way. I prefer to explain my position.

My job is to stay consistent and not put out anything I cannot defend tomorrow.

You have been married to Omoni for many years. What has kept your marriage strong, especially with both of you working together?
We are good friends. We truly love each other.

That is very important. I can be angry with her, but I am upset with someone I genuinely enjoy being with. So, the anger does not last long.

We also have a rule that we are not going anywhere. There is no Plan B. There is no “I’m done.” It is all about how we solve our issues.

When you always have an exit option, you might not put in the effort needed to fix a problem. But when you know you will be with this person for life, you start looking for ways to make the relationship work.

Whether we are handling marriage or business, we remember that we are husband and wife, and we are friends. We respect and value each other.

Whatever she does is for us. Whatever I do is for us. It is not just about me doing something for myself and letting her benefit. The mindset is that we are building something together.

How did you meet her?
We met while she was working on a movie my uncle was producing.

We spoke for about five minutes. She told me where she was, but I did not see her again for about four years.

When I came back, we began dating. About two weeks after we started dating, I proposed. A few months later, we were married. And that is how it all happened.

What would you tell a young man who is talented, broke, in love and confused about marriage?
I would tell him that marriage is not about finding perfect people.

Marriage is about two imperfect people coming together and growing towards the same goal. You are there to sharpen each other.

When I got married, I did not have everything. I did not own a house, and my business was struggling at that time.

After we got married, I had to stay with a friend. Later, we got an apartment that was far away, making trips to the island take about five hours.

The struggles were real, but we enjoyed them together. We built together.

We did not know exactly what the future would hold. But we knew we loved God, loved each other and believed we were going somewhere together.

What three words would you want your children and grandchildren to use to describe you?
Something simple: godly and loving father.

You have been seen dancing and showing affection publicly. Do you think African men need to become more expressive?
I would not make a general statement about it.

I think everyone should learn to enjoy their journey, especially with their family.

Do not treat marriage like a job. Some men only think their role is to provide for their wife. But if that is all you do, the relationship can become one-sided.

If you cannot dance, that is fine. Sit together. Talk. Play games. Watch shows together. Travel together. Have conversations. Learn to enjoy each other’s company.

One day, you will retire, and your children will leave home. If all you built was a system where you provide for your family, you might find a stranger living with you because you never built friendship and shared experiences.

Many marriages faced challenges during the COVID-19 lockdown because couples had to stay together all day. They realised they had little relationship outside work, school, and other activities.

You should be able to be with your wife and still enjoy her company.

I do not care what the situation is. I still enjoy being with my wife, and she enjoys being with me.

What is the biggest lie people believe about marriage today?
One of the biggest lies is how people speak about marriage as if it is a separate entity.

People say, “My marriage is not working.” I ask, “What do you mean?” Marriage does not work by itself. Two people work on a marriage.

When someone says, “My marriage is not working,” they often mean what the other person is doing wrong. They rarely reflect on, “What am I doing?”

If both people are looking at each other and saying the marriage isn’t working, then at least one of them is not putting in the effort.

How are you raising your sons, especially away from the cameras and social media?
To raise godly children, you must expose them to Scripture.

We have family devotions and read the Bible together. I prefer going through the Scripture from Genesis to Revelation. This way, they get the full story and see how everything connects.

I do not want someone to quote a verse out of context. They need to understand where a statement comes from and how it fits into the overall message of the Bible.

But beyond education, I want them to be good people.

I do not want to raise a doctor who mistreats his wife or an engineer who earns a lot but mismanages his wealth. I want them to have strong character.

Have you ever felt like giving up on content creation?
Absolutely. There are days when everything feels exhausting. You have to think about content, film, edit, and handle counselling sessions and coaching.

You are also trying to grow as a parent and as a person.

The challenge is not just in getting the message; it is in finding how to share that message well.

How do you relax when you’re not working?
I read a lot, especially theological books. I also listen to various audio materials.

I enjoy Christian debates and discussions because they help me think critically and see different viewpoints.

I also watch movies with my sons. My wife and I talk a lot too.

Even when she travels for work, we stay connected. Sometimes, she will put the phone on while working, and I will listen in the background. We share what is happening in our lives.

How does being a grandfather feel?
It has been wonderful. It reminds me that our work goes beyond our children. We are leaving a legacy for the next generation.

Every action can impact people who haven’t even been born yet. If we raise families that understand marriage, parenting, and responsibility better, we are preparing a brighter future for our grandchildren.