Halima Kazaure talks about her divorce and life as a single mom

Halima Kazaure, the former wife of Bashir El-Rufai, has shared details about her divorce. She said their marriage ended in 2024 when their twin sons were just two years old.

Earlier, Bashir claimed that Halima made advances towards him and even proposed. He mentioned he divorced her because he did not have the time to handle what he called “Gen Z problems.”

In a personal essay titled “Memoirs of a Single Nigerian Twin Mum with ADHD,” published on her Substack on Wednesday, Ms Kazaure discussed divorce, being a single mother, heartbreak, and the pressure of looking okay while struggling inside.

Halima expressed that she never had much faith in marriage. She linked her feelings to the relationships she saw growing up. “I became a single mother when my boys were two. My marriage ended in 2024. The truth is that I had never had much faith in marriage. I didn’t grow up surrounded by enough examples that convinced me men were particularly safe places to put your heart,” she said.

She added, “Somewhere inside me, I think I knew my marriage would end before it even began. Imagine entering a marriage already preparing for its funeral.” This shows her doubts about the future of her marriage.

Halima also admitted that she had a fear of marriage failing from the start. “Somewhere inside me, I think I knew my marriage would end before it even began. Imagine entering a marriage already preparing for its funeral,” she reflected.

Her essay does not focus on the reasons behind their breakup or blame her ex-husband. Instead, she talks about her complex feelings about love and how she often expects loss, even during good times. She described herself as someone who is always “waiting for the next shoe to drop,” even in happy moments.

After her marriage to Bashir ended, she shared that she fell in and out of love. She painted a picture of men as people who can ruin things for others. She prefers to own her experiences, especially the embarrassing ones, before anyone else can use them against her.

“Then my marriage actually ended. And somehow, several months later, I fell in love again. Of course I did. For someone with so little faith in men, I have a ridiculous amount of faith in love. I trusted again. Hoped again. Imagined again. And got my heart broken again,” she wrote.

She also mentioned a saying that men will stain your white garments. Halima noted, “The irony is that I love wearing white. I spent almost an entire month wearing white to work. This is a terrible choice because I am clumsy and perpetually rushing. My friend at work asks me: “Why do you bother wearing white? Every time we eat, you stain yourself.”

Halima ended by saying her twins are the only part of her life she has never grown tired of. She reflected on how businesses have come and gone, hobbies have changed, and some friendships have faded over time.